"HELLO INFANT I AM BELUGA WHALE"
"YOU ALSO ARE BALD AND HAVE A BULBOUS FOREHEAD. LET US BE FRIENDS FORTHWITH."
Beluga whales are fucking glorious
Most importantly: you’re stronger than you think.
WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES
a sex position called the gatsby where you stare longingly at your partner from a distance
There are two types of single people
- desperately wants to be in a relationship
- desperately wants to remain single for as long as possible
I am both.
i’m so afraid of marriage like what if you marry someone and like have kids with them and then they decide they don’t love you anymore or something idk man but that shit is scary
never have i ever felt a stronger connection with kim kardashian in my life
I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”
sounds about right
pop punk it’s just sad lyrics with happy music
This is exactly how I explain pop punk to people
Why does Glee always seem like the best show ever during a hiatus, but then once the show starts back up again it’s “what the fuck is this?!?”??
humans are very interesting because no other creature has gone through years of evolution to be this stupid
sometimes a sloth’s metabolism can slow down so much it can starve to death with a full stomach
Sloths also mistake their own arms for branches and fall to their death
We’re still more stupid than sloths.