Couldn’t sleep so I read another book…

Mom is laughing a little too loud

abigailpaige:

i thought of you, while in the shower

and i thought of how nice it’d be

to have your things among my things

along the bathtub’s edge

and i imagined myself running out of soap

and using yours

and wearing you to work, and the grocery store

and i imagined that night, laying down beside you

and smelling your neck

and finding out where all my soap had gone

teamfubar:

ursorum:

ursorum:

i walked into my room and found this sitting on my bed

thanks dad

APPARENTLY MY DAD BOUGHT THIS FOR ME BECAUSE WHEN I SAID “I WANT A MANGO SMOOTHIE” THIS MORNING, HE THOUGHT I SAID “I WANT A WATERMELON TO SOOTHE ME”

THANKS

DADDY

well at least he’s caring

stay-ocean-minded:

tumblr humor is like a whole new species of humor

isdarrensalbumoutyet:

no

Jess is making me cookies!!!!!

sethdreyers:

the catcher in the sourdough 

the catcher in the bagel

the catcher in the pumpernickel

the catcher in the cinnamon raisin

the catcher in the focaccia 

the catcher in the challah

the catcher in the naan

the catcher in the pita

the catcher in the dumpling

the catcher in the matzah

the catcher in the calzone

oldprickbitches:

Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”

Annnnnndddddd here goes my first exam!